Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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