This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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