Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
