I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
