You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
