SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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