I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
