You're so nebulous sometimes
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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