so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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