Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had to cum in my sink.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
