I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
