I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize