Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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