I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
