The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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