Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
