Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
