Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
