In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize