Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
