No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
only you would photoshop your dick
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
