Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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