I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
