Duck Duck Cougar?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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