I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
