not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
