Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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