i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
