I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
