R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize