One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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