my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
