I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize