i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
