All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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