the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
