All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
