Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
