my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
