So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
