Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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