If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
