We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize
