quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
