I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
