Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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