we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize