I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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