the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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