Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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