Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize