just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
