Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
