if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
