It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
