In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
