apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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