a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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