I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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