i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
