gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
