i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dicks are not precious.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
