We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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