Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
