Me too!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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