the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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