I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
