you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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