he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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