I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
